I guess today I am going to tell you some things related to my modeling background. These are actually 2 most asked questions by the photographers. So, I assume you might wonder the same thing.
I signed up to a model-networking site and created a profile. I lied a few inches taller while filling in the measurements form. I am only 4'10" but I put 5'1". The photos I put there were taken by myself while one of the rules of that site was we are not allowed to put self-shot photographs. Well.. I did. At first, my profile was rejected in 2013, but it was accepted 2 years later when I came back to re-submit and replace a few better photos as my starting portfolio. I absolutely did not think I would actually get a gig knowing I am short as hell. Surprisingly, I got a few messages from photographers around the world. I started photo modeling in early 2015 with a fashion & Avant Garde photographer named Satch based in Singapore and Tokyo. He was visiting Jakarta for business, so he messaged me and asked me if I would like to do a TF shoot with him. TF stands for Trade For in modeling term. Trading our skill/service without money involvement, usually for portfolio building. After checking out his references and edgy portfolio, I accepted. You can bet, I was extremely excited. I could not even sleep the night before the shoot. Just like most first timers, we make mistakes. I did not bring any outfits for photoshoot because I thought he would provide the wardrobes. He did ask me what outfits I brought to the shoot, and I told him I did not bring any so I just modeled in an outfit I wore that day. My hands were shaking. He noticed that but he tried to pretend he did not notice, maybe because he did not want to make me more nervous. He was calm and very professional which made me feel comfortable and my nervousness decreased as time went by. If the photographer were aggressive, maybe I would be so afraid of him and quitted modeling immediately.
Back then, I used my real first name as my modeling name. That was my biggest mistake ever. Only in less than a year after I started modeling, when I already got enough decent photos for my portfolio. Some strangers stole our photos and published it (including my real name) to a website without my permission nor the photographers'. I got a few strangers who stalked and followed me everywhere online including my private profile who was supposed for people I know only (family, friends, and photographers.) Some people who I suspected to be people who know my family sent me a message whether I was the person they thought. My ex boyfriend who I got the worst relationship with in my entire life also found me and terrorized me. I felt so suppressed in so many ways. I finally shut down and hid basically from everyone. I changed my modeling name to ANONYM and created a new Instagram profile exclusively for photographers only from 2015-2017 with the hope my new stage name made people having a harder time to find me online but I would still be able to do modeling. I really love modeling and I just do not want to stop but at the same time, my family background suppresses me to stay low. I come from a pretty prestigious family in a conservative country, Indonesia, the world's most populous muslim country in the world where I got insults from the citizens cursing me going to hell and tortured. The society in this country tie every single thing we do with the other family members. One member messes up, the other members also get the consequences. Families from both of my parents have a decent reputation among the society and I am afraid my nude photographs would affect it. Honestly, even today, I still am worried but I care much less than before. The chance Indonesians know my family is fairly high. Therefore, I also hide how I actually look in photographs to make me more unrecognizable. ANONYM is chosen to give out a mystery identity without specific name and look but still identifiable.